Siren Suggests - Is It Better Down Where It's Wetter?

Well, I would have to say that it really depends on the particular siren and the particular person who's caught the attention at the moment.

Now, natural lubrication is produced by the vagina.  The penis and the anus do not have any natural lubrication, so I would recommend a bottle of lubrication for use during masturbation or with a partner.

But let's set the record straight right here and now about vaginal lubrication:
Generally, the amount of natural lubrication a woman might have is not necessarily indicative of her arousal level.  Remember that every woman is a unique and individual snowflake, and thus their amount of lubrication will differ.

Other things that might affect a woman's natural lubrication are stress, medications, depression, drugs and alcohol, how hydrated she is, pregnancy, menopause, and every day life.

It is definitely better to be wet and to have lubricated sex rather than dry sex.  The lubricated vagina is not only protecting the membranes of the vagina wall, which can tear, but the lubrication actually slows the transmission of STI's.

Now, there's always the possibility of too much natural lubrication.  When there's too much lubrication, it might make a woman feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about her body.  Though, it is definitely something that many women *think* they want.  At times, some men prefer a moderate amount of lubrication since they need some of that friction.

While it is known that menopausal women to produce less estrogen, which can contribute to less natural lubrication, it seems that too much estrogen can also contribute to less lubrication.  Instead, it might actually be the presence of too much progesterone in your body (which can happen naturally or from taken certain birth control pills - ladies, make sure to ask your doctor about the levels of hormones in the birth control they're prescribing you).

Now, for those of you ladies who think you have enough lubrication or are wanting more lubrication, remember that levels of natural lubrication change even throughout the month.  It is definitely important to have some lubrication handy for use during intercourse, with sex toys, or during masturbation.

There are different types of lubrication, naturally, for different uses.

Oil-based - In general, I would not recommend using oil-based lube.  It can wear down the latex on the condom, and it takes a long time for your body to get rid of the substance.

Silicone-based - Silicone-based lube is the longest lasting, but it's also not going to be naturally absorbed by your body so it will take some time for your body to flush it out.  It is definitely recommended for use during any water play, anal play, or anal sex as it is also helps to prevent HIV transmission.  However, silicone-based lube should not be used in conjunction with silicone toys, as it will dissolve the toy's surface.  Silicone is quite a powerful substance.  When used correctly, it can help to provide a great experience.

Water-based - Most lubrication out in the market is water-based.  Because of the water base, the body will naturally absorb it or it will evaporate.  Depending on the amount of sex or the bodies involved, reapplication might be needed, but that isn't necessarily the worst thing.  Water-based lube is great for use with all types of toys as well as during masturbation.

Now, if you want the best of both silicone and water worlds, Athena's carries Wet's Synergy, which is a hybrid lube.  It's great for use with all toys (including silicone toys, since the levels of silicone in the lube are not enough to dissolve silicone toys), during sex, and for masturbation.

Wet Synergy

It's definitely one of those "a little goes a long way," since a little dollop covers so much ground and lasts for so long.  For $20, this 7 fl.oz. bottle really lasts quite a while for so many different uses.

So, I'm going to end this post reiterating what I started with:  the amount of lubrication during sex is definitely reliant on the person and/or their partner.

Depending on what type of sexual act one might be partaking in, no one should know their body better than they do.  And when engaging with others, sometimes there isn't room or time to talk about lube before getting into the act.

So, make sure your lube is right next to where you store your condoms.  Just in case the opportunity arises, you'll be prepared.

I Stand With Planned Parenthood

Sometimes, it amazes me that human rights are still disagreed upon.

Right now, reproductive rights are being attacked by the Republicans and Conservatives.  They are blaming organizations like Planned Parenthood (as well as the Public Broadcasting Station and National Public Radio) for the countries financial problems.

As a social worker who cares about sexual health issues, I want to make sure that my voice is heard when it comes to this issue.

So, I sported my "Love Your Body" shirt and joined the hundreds of people at the Boston Common today for a rally in support of Planned Parenthood.

I made sure to sign petitions, hold up my sign, and make as much noise as possible, because, of course, there was also a group of Pro-Lifers making as much noise as possible as well.

Anti-Planned Parenthood Group

They brought bagpipes, would sing while the speakers were speaking, and some of them would go right up to the Bandstand and shout "Baby killer!"  One guy would oh-so-creatively choose a specific finger to show his feelings towards the speakers.

Tell us how you really feel.

At one point, one older woman walked right up to that guy in the plaid coat and said, "You're so rude! I should cut of your penis and feed it to you!"  *snicker* I told her she was kind of awesome.  Though, obviously, it doesn't help to engage those people in a conversation since they would just use it against us.

Of all the ridiculous signs that the Pro-Lifers had, though, this was the most creative/sadistic/strange.

Yikes...that's right, it's baby Jesus.

But, there was definitely more supporters present.  It was inspiring.

Pink for Planned Parenthood

Representative Mike Capuano was among one of the speakers
encouraging people to rally and contact the Senators!

So, make sure you let your voice be heard and call your Representatives and Senators!

Fucksaw? Really? (Video NSFW)

I know I'm supposed to have an opinion about the Human Sexuality teacher who demonstrated a homemade sex toy, aptly named the "Fucksaw," in an after-class session.

Well, okay, so I do have some opinions about the professor showing a live demonstration of the use of a sex toy.  I, for one, am not a big fan of censorship, especially if it was for a class of adults who voluntarily stayed after class to watch the demonstration.

Those same students could easily find the same demonstration on the internet, and I don't think there's any harm in showing a demonstration.  I like that the class offered opportunities for students to learn about the varied and diverse world of human sexuality - all within the context of consensual sexual acts, of course.  I honestly would have loved to know what the conversation and lesson was about.  

But, honestly, truly...I can't get over the fact that the fucksaw is just a bit ridiculous and makes my vagina retreat inside itself.

Here's a video of the fucksaw from the A.V. Club article.  This video is most definitely Not Safe For Work, though it is just showing the toy itself.




I'm sorry.  But I just can't get over this thing.

Quoting the A.V. Club's report,

"The "fucksaw" in question is basically a dildo attached to a reciprocating saw which, when cranked up to full blast, can drive a person to orgasm."

Is it really supposed to drive a person to orgasm?  While I appreciate that they don't specify which gender would be orgasming, I can certainly tell you that approximately 85% of women will NOT be orgasming when this toy is cracked up to full blast.

I understand the allure of having a powerful sex toy, believe me, I do.  I understand wanting to have a sex toy that would closely simulate the movements of intercourse.

But I can't get over the fact that it seems like the toy is trying to jackhammer a hole to China via your vagina/anus.

Of all the toys that exist, why was it that the professor chose to show this one?

That's my opinion.  What do you guys think?

Hearing on Sex Education at City Hall

On Tuesday, February 15th, Boston's City Council held a hearing on the state of sex education in the Boston Public Schools.

This hearing came about because the Hyde Square Task Force and their youth organizers created a documentary about the scarcity of comprehensive sex education and its consequences.

Students are asking for better, more comprehensive sex education, which includes conversations about healthy relationships, STI's, and peer pressure.  They are also asking for more availability of condoms at high schools.

In my social work experience, I've had the pleasure of being able to visit the State House quite often for various reasons, but this was the first time I had attended a hearing in City Hall.  The room was packed!  They needed to start filtering people into other rooms that had televisions so that they could still watch what was happening.

The big players were all at this event - Boston Public Schools, Boston Public Health Commission, Planned Parenthood, NARAL Pro-Choice, Massachusetts Alliance on teen Pregnancy, and of course the Hyde Square Task Force and student representatives from various youth organizations.

But there were also representatives who agreed on the availability of comprehensive sex education with a strong emphasis on abstinence and disagreed about the availability of condoms for high school students.

City Councilor At-Large Ayanna Pressley was really a champion on this effort.  She asked the right questions to the various people who were testifying for and against the subject of the hearing.  It's great to see that the city is listening, especially when the strongest voices are those of the youth.

Many of those that disagreed with subject of hearing had the usual arguments.  One woman spoke about how sex education in schools undermined the testament in the Bible about honoring thy mother and thy father. But City Councilor Pressley reiterated previous testimonies that stated that while parents want to be the first resource for their kids, they don't often know how to broach the topic.

The first group who testified against the distribution of condoms was from Pure at Heart, based out of Harvard University.  They read statistics from countries around the world that showed that more condom availability means that more teens will just have sex.  They also stated that it would be wrong to recommend a product that is not 100% effective in preventing STI's.  Councilor Pressley then stated that their argument would be related to wearing a seatbelt -which is not 100% effective in preventing harm during a car accident.  The Pure at Heart representatives then started using drunk driving as an analogy to sex, which in all honesty, was pretty incorrect.

The one shocking testimony for me was from a medical doctor.  Though I couldn't hear too much of his arguments because he wasn't speaking too clearly into the microphone, he not only disagreed about the effectiveness of condoms (stating that they need to be used correctly to be the most effective, which begs the question, "How are people supposed to know how to use a condom without education?"), but also blamed the prevalence of teen sex on the lack of a strong two-parent home.

Truth be told, my eyes went wide at that comment.  I cautiously looked around at adults and kids in the room and questioned if anyone would take his comment personally.  While I agree about having positive adult male and female role models in everyone's life, it would be wrong to say that those positive adults can ONLY be parents.  How many of the people in the hearing come from single-parent households, but also have other positive adults in their lives?

Truth be told, it seemed that most of the people who disagreed with condom availability mainly spoke about how "kids don't know any better."  They talked about how having more condoms would mean that kids would want to try them out, but then not use them correctly and just pass all types of diseases to each other.

As someone who is a believer in youth empowerment, it was frustrating and disheartening to hear those arguments.  While the adults are ultimately the ones passing the laws, I really believe that the youth have the ability to make informed, educated opinions about very difficult topics.  They have to maneuver the murky waters of relationships, friendships, waking up to get to school on time, homework, work, and so many other things.  The fact that so many of them are able to do this is an achievement in an of itself, and the adults have to remember that.

I definitely agree that comprehensive sex education includes not only a conversation about anatomy and STI's, but about all prevention methods including abstinence, about healthy relationships and peer pressure, and about the ability to make a choice.

I connected with the Boston Public School representatives, and will hopefully get involved in a task force to further work on the creation of a comprehensive curriculum.

I really feel extremely passionate about this field, and am really feeling that this is where my path is leading me.  But, I don't want to wait around for an opportunity.  I really want to seize it.  I'm ready and willing, good, giving, and game.

Teaching a Sex Ed Course

In the beginning of the year, I had the amazing opportunity to work with Partners in Sex Education to teach a class at a Greater Boston high school.

I had the option of teaching to a class of 9th graders or to upperclassmen, and being that I've had a lot of experience in working with middle school students in my previous day job I chose to go with the youngest group.

While I was extremely excited for this opportunity, was extremely nervous in the beginning.  It had been many months since I had done work with kids.  Would I do well in the class?  What if they have attitude?  Will I be able to reach them?

Sure, I had a lot of experience in working with youth.  Sure, I had a lot of experience in speaking about sex and sexual health.  But I had never combined the two worlds before.

Once I got started, though, I have to say I'm extremely proud of myself for having done a weeks worth of education with those students.

What I felt so naive about, however, was the fact that kids will find a way to get information, even if that information is incorrect.  Throughout the week, I had to repeat several times that porn was not only for ADULT pleasure, but it is also the worst place to seek correct information.

Most of the class consisted of boys, with about 5 girls among them.  It was clear that some of the terminology they were using when they asked anonymous questions was generated from things they saw or heard in porn. For example, "cumshot" is definitely not something used in every day language.

I felt silly for being a bit shocked, especially considering that even I looked at porns when I was younger to get information!  And with the availability of information that is more prevalent these days, I really shouldn't have been as shocked as I was.

Nonetheless, I had a great time working with that class.  They had a lot of great questions, and were engaged.  I wish I could have had a month with them!!  There's so much to cover and so little time to do it - much like how parties are.

My only hope is that they were able to retain some of the information, and that they seek help with trusted adults if need be.

Sea Goddess Says - February 5, 2011

Starting the New Year Awesome!

In this final day of 2010, I can honestly say I'm excited to move on to bigger and better things.

I've been pushing myself to do better at my own business, just by doing more outreach and doing more of the teleconference trainings.  Because of the dedication I felt to my own business, I feel like things have gone quite well.

I gained 2 new team members, and I officially have a Siren and a Satyr.  I've increased my number of average parties.  I've had several parties from friends' recommendations.  And the other day, I had someone email the Home Office requesting me specifically.

I feel like things are just going to get better and better!

To add to the success that I'm seeing in my business, I'm going to have the opportunity to volunteer as a sex educator at a local high school through a sex education nonprofit.  I'm extremely excited about this opportunity!

Though, I will admit that I'm a bit nervous.  But when I was meeting with the founder of the organization and going over the lesson plan, I suddenly realize, "Dude, I know this stuff."  I will do some brushing up on my sex ed facts, but the one thing that I do know extremely well is how to be with teenagers.

It will be interesting to have this mash-up of my two worlds, especially considering that I will dive in head first in the first week of January - which will then lead to Athena's January Sales Meeting and Holiday Party Weekend.

I do think it's going to be a fabulous 2011, if this first week has anything to say about it.

Sea Goddess Says - November 20, 2010

A day late...but here it is!

I talk about some methods to use to prevent premature ejaculation.

Enjoy!

Insight Into This Goddess #1

When I was young, I realized that one of the most important things is to be educated.  Now, I'm not talking about getting a PhD.  I'm talking about educating yourself about something before getting involved in it.

Like sex.

I wanted to be able to make decisions based on knowledge and not on here say.  I think everybody deserves to be able to make decisions based on knowledge.

This is part of why I love being an Athena's Goddess.

I get to be a starting point for the women and men I interact with to better understand their own sexual health and needs.  I get to help guide them on what would be the best way to achieve the pleasure they all deserve.  I also get to further educate myself more on sexual health and pleasure.

Part of why I love being a Goddess is because of all the knowledge.

Ask and You Shall Receive

It's time for me to start answering some questions.

So send them in!

Check out my Sea Goddess Says page above for more information!

The "Doctors"

I've caught several glimpses of this afternoon show while at nail salons.  But today, I just needed to take a look at an episode.

Doctor Actors

After watching this episode, I've decided that I really dislike the lot of them.  I'm sure they have medical degrees based on the fact that they're wearing scrubs and lab coats, and I wouldn't be surprised if they are just the figureheads for the actual less-attractive doctors who provide the real information.

So, today's show was mainly a recap show about laughter and how good it is for you.  I'll agree with that statement.  But the majority of clips from previous shows were about sexual health and body image issues.

They showed several clips with Dr. Ruth, who I think is pretty awesome.  She brought a couple of toys to show them, and they all had a good laugh.  They also brought up that there are some foods that would boost your sex drive and  would help give you orgasms.

One recipe was an "Orgasm Smoothie" which is a blend of blueberries, bananas, peaches, milk, flaxseed, ginger, honey, and nutmeg.  If you know anything about food, you know that these ingredients are generally great for anyone's diet since they're full of antioxidants and vitamins.  The other food item was some "Viagra-like" ice cream.  Dr. Ruth then pipes in, "You don't need ice cream!  You need to feel attraction to your partner and know what feels good!"

Amen Dr. Ruth.  Amen.

Then the clips turned to "trimming the hedges," as they called it.  They shared their own opinions about how much hair should be "down there," also sharing that trained professionals should handle any waxing action.  I do wish, however, that they addressed manscaping!  Taking care of yourself or doing personal maintenance is mainly a personal preference.  Nonetheless, I think it's also not something that should be focused on any specific gender!

After this segment, I was ready to start throwing things at the television.  The conversation about pubic hair removal then "naturally" moved on to the one thing I really hate right now...vajazzling.  It worried me that the only female doctor seemed to be somewhat approving of vajazzling.  But it made me feel almost less angry that the men were just quite skeptical of glittery vaginas.

I have to admit that the entire show is extremely frustrating.  It's hard to take any of them seriously.

I'm sure there have been studies that show that people are more inclined to trust or listen to someone when that person is considered "attractive."  But this makes me trust them less.  The fact that the "Doctors" all look like they're also actors makes me feel worried and nervous.  The fact that the majority of the show is really an hour long commercial for a variety of products makes me feel like there are hundreds of thousands of people being duped.

I guess in the scheme of things, it's better that some of the information is getting out to the masses rather than people living ignorantly.  I just hope that the information is more correct than anything else.