By the time I was in college, I was already sexually active with my long-term high school boyfriend. I did not consider myself uneducated about sex and all it's possibilities, but I knew that I had a lot more to learn and experience.
By my second year in college, I had turned 18, and had already visited the back/X-rated part of a shop in the small downtown district of Santa Cruz, CA. So, I was familiar with sex toys in that I knew what they looked like. But at this point, I had never touched one, owned one, or really been near one that wasn't in a plastic cover.
I was living in a lounge-type room with 3 other girls. Two of the girls I still love very dearly. One of the girls was a strange duck.
Here's an example: One day, we all decided to walk over to the gym to go swimming. As we were all preparing, the strange duck sat patiently in her bathing suit and hiking boots (our campus was hilly and in a forest). We asked her if she was going to put on more appropriate clothes for walking through campus, and she said that she thought it would be fine if she just walked the approximately 1.5 miles in her suit and boots. We promptly told her otherwise.
But things just got more strange. And I'm not even going to go into how her and her boyfriend would have sex early in the morning while the rest of us were in the room!
Three of us were sitting in our room and doing work, and the strange duck suddenly says, "Hmm...that's interesting. They have "penis" in the Spanish-English dictionary, but not "dildo."
I'm not really sure why that was relevant to her Spanish homework. She said she sometimes thought about those things, and decided to look it up in her Spanish-English dictionary. Simple as that, I guess?
Well, within the first semester, we knew that we were going to have issues. It all culminated one fateful night.
She usually went to sleep much earlier than the 3 of us did. She would put on her eye mask, her headphones, and sometimes a pillow over her head. Though we knew she was trying to sleep, the three of us would live it up.
This particular evening, we had a couple of friends over. We were laughing, talking, watching tv. My friend was sitting at my desk. The way our room was set up, her bed was next to my desk. Suddenly, she stood up and started freaking out, pointing to our "sleeping" roommate. Here's what she saw:
La Dilda
We laughed so hard, we were surprised that she didn't wake up!
Maybe a half hour later, after we had already calmed down, she suddenly perked up and asked us all to quiet down. She then went on about how we always stay up when she's trying to sleep, and how she would prefer that we all turn everything off by 10pm. She also said that we needed to talk the next morning about our rooming together. We all definitely agreed.
The next day, we all got together and sat in our room. She talked about what she wanted from us as her roommates, ranging from us quieting down by 10pm to not having people over as much. As young college students, we were unhappy with her requests.
One of my roommates, who had been keeping relatively quiet for most of the strange duck's requests, suddenly said, "You know, we'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't sleep with your dildo!"
The strange duck became flustered. She sat herself down and told us that her boyfriend gave it to her as a present. In fact, it was the only thing he had ever given to her that she could physically hold.
A roommate blurted, "Oh my god! Tell him to get you a freakin' teddy bear!"
Needless to say, she moved out the following semester.
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In the end, while that story still makes me laugh, I was sad for her. She clearly had feelings for her boyfriend, enough that she used the toy as a safety blanket instead. But he perhaps only saw her as his play thing.
Obviously, these days, I've had much more exposure to toys, and in not such an unhealthy way. As a Goddess, it's almost such a complete change from that situation. My old roommate and her boyfriend were very sexually open with each other, but perhaps almost mainly sexual. Often at parties, I hear a lot of hesitance from both people in the relationship, depending on the toy and the relationship.
It makes you think about your own relationships and how you'd like to address the sexual aspect of it.
Now, it's great when couples are able to be comfortable with themselves and each other - or at least willing to test it out - enough to talk about what turns them on. And while I'm not advocating that most of your gifts to each other be sex toys, changing it up from romantic to raunchy isn't so bad once in a while.
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