Would You Hire A Boston Wing Woman?

Dating can be really easy for some and really difficult for others.  To add to the varying degrees of difficulty, there are so many methods to "meeting the one" or "meeting the one for right now."

You could go to the bar, you could have friends introduce you to someone, you could go to a singles gathering like 8-minute dating, you can sign up on a free or paid website for dates or for sex friends, or you can hire a stranger to pretend to be your best girl friend.

Wait, what was that last one?

That's right, you can now hire someone to pretend to be a good friend for the night and be your wing woman.

I've signed on to various email lists so that I know what's happening around Boston, and this morning Thrillist.com (which is mainly targeting guys) is highlighting a new business called HireaBostonWing Woman.com.

hireabostonwingwoman.com

Go ahead and check it out.  I'll wait.

*takes a sip of coffee...plays with the kitties...*

Okay, are you back?  What did you think?  Let me tell you what I think.

From first impressions, I think it's absolutely fascinating.  Really, it's a great business idea.  Take dating back to face to face interactions, and use the amazing relationship building skills of women to a guys advantage.

What girl hasn't been a wing man for a guy friend?  Some are definitely more successful than others, but it's a proven success.  If you just started dating a guy, you would want to know what his friends are like and you would definitely want to make sure his female friends approve of you.  This cuts through all of that by starting with female relationship building.

But wait...what happens if you hit it off?  What if the relationship goes really well and she asks, "Hey, where's that friend of yours that was at the bar the night we met?"

So, that's just really one question the website brought up to me.

What if the man is more attracted to the wing woman?  I'm sure that there are rules about the relationship between the man and the wing woman (mainly because it seems that if you're a lesbian trying to hire a wing woman, you've just got really bad mojo...but also because the site is geared towards helping guys).  The relationship probably has to be terminated.

Is this a new form of sex work?  Perhaps, except that the woman would almost be more like a pimp, pimping the guy out.  I'm not against sex work at all if the sex worker is not forced into the job by another person or by their financial situations - if you want to use sex to get money even if you still have the means to use other occupations, go for it!  But there's just something that feels really sneaky and sleazy about this mode of finding dates.  Which leads me to my next question.

Is the man hiring a wing woman out there trying to look for a serious relationship or just increasing his number of possible dates or just looking for a one night stand?  It seems that the website really leaves that open by calling the other woman "a woman of interest."  Whatever the guy wants, the wing woman is in charge of helping him get.  So, even if the guy is a complete and utter douchtard, it's your job to help him seem like an honorable human being.

Does hiring a wing woman insinuate that the man doesn't have any female friends?  To me, it sort of does.  If you were already a great guy, your girl friends would either want to date you or would want to help you find dates.  If you were already a great guy, your female friends would already want to look out for your best interest - and that includes weeding out the shady girls.  I guess one could argue that a guy wouldn't want to put his female friends in an awkward position like that.  But I really do believe that if you're worth it, your female friends will help you out.

There is definitely something to be said about this "new" way of getting a date.  All methods of finding a date has its benefits and its downfalls.

If you were to meet someone through a friend, things could be awesome - until things started going bad.  Would you lose a set of friends if your relationship went sour?

If you meet someone at a bar, most of the time they're intoxicated and probably not using the best judgement and neither are you. There's also a higher possibility of date rape.

If you go to a singles event, it could be a lot of fun and you can even do some networking.  But it's sometimes all to similar to being at a bar or club, except you know that everyone in the room is single.

If you meet someone online, there's no guarantee that their picture is the most accurate or most recent.  I've personally had someone tell me that they were black, and proceed to call me on their way over to let me know that they were actually whiter than white.  That's a story for another time, but you get my point.

So, I'm not necessarily against hireabostonwingwoman.com.  I really do think it's quite an ingenious concept, though it's not necessarily a new one (Go ahead and Google it).  But it does raise quite a lot of questions, as I'm sure online dating did when it first began.

At the end of the day, it's just another way to get dates by putting yourself out there - whether it's by being who you are or who you would like to appear to be.

Amira Jamal's Student Recital 2010

On Sunday, May 2nd, Amira Jamal hosted her annual Student Recital at the Pacific Arts Center of Metro West, in Framingham, MA.

I love her student recitals for many reasons, including the opportunity to see my amazing classmates dance and to see some of the newcomers perform.  This might sound horrible, but (and I mean it in a really positive way)it's nice to watch the newbies because it reminds me of where I came from.  A closet full of belly dance clothes later, I can proudly say that I'm no longer a newbie.

Mainly, I love the student recitals because it's been great practice for me.  I've always been exceedingly nervous about performing in public, especially around other, more professional dancers.  But this year, I felt different.

In a way, the recital snuck up on me.  I had been extremely busy, and with a new kitty, it has been difficult to do much dancing around the apartment.  Next thing I know, it's April and the recital is a month away.

When I'm working on choreographing a piece, I usually just play the song over and over on my mp3 player.  Strangely, I find it really productive to choreograph while riding the T.  This time around, I really tried to focus more on where the music was taking my movements and build upon that, instead of trying to incorporate every little step that I knew into a dance.

But the real difference was that this year, I danced to an actual Arabic piece.

In the 5 years that I've been taking classes with Amira Jamal, I've danced to Tori Amos' "Sweet the Sting," Queen's "Crazy Little Thing Called Love," Bjork's "Bachelorette," The Beatles' "Something," and Pink Martini's "Never on Sunday."

I've always loved the idea of fusing different concepts together to create something beautiful, which is mainly why I've focused on dancing to different types of music than traditional Middle Eastern music.

The great thing about Amira's classes, however, is the fact that we're exposed to so much Middle Eastern music, from classical Arabic to more pop tunes.  She encourages us to keep broadening our understanding of the dance by understanding the music.

So, this year, I danced to "Balady ala Accordion" by Hassan Abou el Seoud (This song can be found on Shik Shak Shok and 10 Songs Every Bellydancer Should Know).

Oh, ya.  Another difference was that my costume wasn't completely green.  It was mainly purple, and only had the tiniest hint of green.

Most of the pictures were taken by my boyfriend, so they're a little blurry.
This was my entrance.

Shocker!  I know!

Oh ya, baby...those are zills!

I couldn't really tell you why I finally decided to dance to an Arabic song for the recital.  I have talked in a previous post about doing a Filipino/Middle Eastern fusion dance, but I haven't learned enough about traditional Filipino dance to put something together in time for the recital.

I had already danced to "Balady ala Accordion" at an event I organized, and I really love the song itself.  Also, in the past, I had been dancing to somewhat slower songs.  I figured it was time to up the tempo, and go for playing my zills.

Confident and smiling!

Overall, though I know I needed to improve my zill playing, I actually felt extremely confident about my dance.  Since we got the chance to perform for each other in class earlier that week, I had received really great feedback from my classmates - dancers I really respect.

I am really proud of myself for a 6th recital under my belt, and for feeling not as nervous as I stepped out onto the stage area.  It was also quite nice to get complements from some of the audience members, of whom were mainly family members of the performers.

It was also great to have my boyfriend there supporting me.  Though he isn't so good at taking pictures, it's always nice to be reminded that I have someone in my personal life that enjoys and supports this hobby.

Athena's Cup Collection at All One Yoga Studio!

I've been wanting to do more for the Athena's Cup fundraiser for a while.  After a lot of planning, I've managed to figure out a great start to my efforts.

Recently, I started going to a local yoga studio in the Allston-Brighton area.  All One Yoga offers tons of different yoga and pilates classes, and it's small enough that the staff know the regulars by name.

I realized that the location of the yoga studio was perfect!  It's right behind a major super market, next to Boston University, and shares the space with a gym for children and families.

As I work with children and families during the day, I'm aware that my night job might not necessarily be well-received.  But who can say they're against breast cancer research?

After checking with one of the managers, I got the thumbs up!  I then posted on Happy Buzzing to see how other Goddesses might have put together a collection box.

Then I got to work!

Materials collected, Yoni get's curious...

After hitting up the Dollar Store, I was excited to put together my collection box.  I'm glad that I thought to ask one of the Dollar Store staff for any empty boxes that they would just discard and recycle!  As you can see from the picture above, Yoni approved of my box choice.

It took a little bit for me to decide how I wanted my sign to look.  As I've made many fliers for my day job, I knew the importance of font and presentation.  Also, I know that the Goddesses are so lucky to have a whole Home Office who help us with pre-made materials to advertise the fundraiser.

Signage!

I must say, I'm very proud of my sign.

So, today, Saturday, I go to pilates.  I put together the box in the morning, wrapping it with pink table cloth material.  Interestingly, I had a really hard time wrapping the box!  I'm usually so good at wrapping presents, but that's with a closed box!  Since I wanted an opening, I had different dimensions and obstacles than I usually do with regular packed up presents.

But I was very excited to hop on the T with my box and present it to the staff at the studio!

Small, but mighty!

The box now sits in a corner of the waiting area, perched between two benches, in full sight of the main walkway.  Also, any monetary donations will be given to the desk staff, as I've pre-made a donations envelope for them.

The staff are so awesome!  Kristen, whose Vinyasa Yoga class I attend, told me that bra's will sometimes be left and never claimed!  Perhaps those who change out of them into workout clothes just forget, and then get embarrassed about asking for them back?

Either way, a forgotten bra was added to the box (as I put one of mine in there to start it off)!

So, I'm super excited about this effort!  I even added a little pocket for postcards people can take home with them and share with friends.  I'm hoping to collect bras and donations every week, adding to the already 16,000 bras already collected!

Athena's Cup!

Thank you to All One Yoga and their fabulous staff!

Goddess Guidebook: Final Words for 2009

Goddess...it took me a while to get enough gumption to close out 2009.

I know I was holding on to a lot of the negative feelings that were associated with last year.  But the last two pages of the 2009 section really helped me see 2009 for all that it was.

Before I share the last two sections I've worked on, I wanted to explain (mainly for myself) why it took so long for me to get to this point.

2009 had a lot of ups and downs, lots of changes, huge confessions, sarcophagi flies, and new lives.

Truly, a lot to process.  A lot of the negatives were so heavy, they linger longer in my thoughts.  But the little positives were also there, just cloaked behind heavy fabrics.

All my gratefulness on 2 pages

For our holiday card this year, my boyfriend and I celebrated all the experiences that 2009 brought to us.  It was almost like I knew I needed to be able to reflect on this as a constant reminder of all the amazing things that happened last year.  Putting them together in a collage really helped to put 2009 into perspective even before I realized it needed to be put there.

My Final Words

As stated in my letter, I'm hoping that I can still continue to process all that was handed to/dropped on me, and that I can continue to learn from those experiences as well.

Now, 2010, I think I'm finally ready for the adventures you'll bring.  Can you hold my hand first?  Just for a couple of steps until I find my footing?  Thank you.

Close to Closing Out 2009

Though I printed out the Goddess Guidebook about two days ago, it took me a while to finally get started.

I took little steps here and there.  My first decision was to print out the Guidebook small enough that it would be portable if I needed it to be.  Then I decided to use a journal I've had in my possession instead of buying a whole separate binder.

The Way of the World - v.2010

It's kind of neat to go back to journaling as blogging is a totally different feeling altogether.  It's like analog vs. digital.  I had to dig out my glue stick!  Though, I'm excited to be able to use my coloring pencils and crayons!

Here are my guidelines for my guidebook:

• I want to be able to dedicate this one book for the Goddess Guidebook, so I placed all the pages within the book to "save a space" for each section.
• I won't glue the pages to the book until I'm ready to use/work on the guidebook page.
• I need to give myself time to work on each page.  I get too excited and want to finish it right away!  But I need to really take my time on this one.
  

A Guidebook Within a Journal Within a Book

So, I feel that I need to complete all the 2009 pages before I can do anything else.  Obviously, that's a restriction I'm placing on myself.  Perhaps it says something about what I was going through last year.

I realized that I spent a lot of the latter half of 2009 trying really hard to stay positive.  Trying.  I think I did a fairly good job at it.  But in the end, it was really exhausting.  I remember specific instances where everything suddenly glazed over because the situation was just hard for my mind to wrap around.  Exhausting.

Though I guess I can't say for sure, it almost feels like the beginning part might be the best part for me.  Cathartic, perhaps. 

So long, farewell

Proud of myself...Releasing the past...

Good times...good times...

I feel like it took a lot of brain power to do these first three pages.  So much so that I think I need to sleep and meditate on it a bit....