Toy Etiquette 101

So, I've already blogged about how to keep your toys in tip top shape with Sex Toy Care 101.  Now for another 101 course in Toy Etiquette.

Aren't toys just meant to replace partners?
No.  Most definitely not.  Our business isn't to replace people.  Toys are meant to enhance sexual experiences.  If you think your sex life is absolutely perfect and doesn't ever get boring, then you probably don't need sex toys.  But for the rest of us who like to change it up once in a while, a toy can be great for couples.

Yes, masturbation is a great single-person activity.  But every so often, you can bring your partner into the situation.  Let your partner handle the controls.  Let your partner watch.

Of course, if you're finding that you'd rather play with your toy than your partner...that's a whole different story, and probably a whole different blog post altogether.

What if I have nosey and curious guests?
Yikes.  No one likes nosey guests.  If you have a closet full of toys that you'd rather not share with the whole world, make sure it's in your bedroom.  If you have many guests over for a party, use the bedroom as a coat check, and keep the door closed most of the time.  Don't be a careless host and be conscious of what your guests are up to.  Most people wouldn't want to find out after the party that a priceless vase was broken and no one took responsibility for it.  I personally would want to know where my guests are and what they're doing.

You also wouldn't want to give them a reason to pry.  Make sure you put your toys away in a safe, clean place if you know people are coming over.  Yes, that includes your lube, lotions, and feathers.  If you don't want to give people ideas, don't let them see anything that would make them do so.

If you don't have the usual places to stash your toys, such as the bedside table drawer, Athena's carries 2 great products that protect your toys from prying eyes.  The Toy Box is a great place to hide your favorite couple of toys.  For the more advanced, we also carry the Adult Toy Chest.  All the pouches are equipped with Velcro(C), so it's easy to find exactly what you need.  I am currently using the Toy Chest for all my demo purposes.

Toy Chest

If I change partners, is it okay to use the same sex toys?
The answer to this question really depends on the person.  If you placed some emotional attachment to the toy in relation to the person, then it would probably be very difficult to re-use sex toys.  However, if the relationship was more casual, then you might be more willing to keep that toy.

This video was posted on jezebel.com, and I think it answers this question perfectly.

"Can I Use My Old Vibrator With My New Partner?" from Pot Psychology on Vimeo.

Now, obviously - and regardless of the situation - you want to keep your toys clean!  Depending on the material of the toy, it will hold on to the bacteria if you don't wash it.  Really, you could almost use this same advise for children's toys, which often get passed down to younger siblings.

Was that too gross of an analogy?  Sorry...

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So, these are just the basics of Toy Etiquette 101.  The take away message?  Don't forget that while taking care of yourself is mainly a single-person activity, it doesn't mean it should intefere with another person's self care.

Dancing to Live (Music)

When I first moved to Boston 5 years ago, I knew that I wanted to continue taking belly dance lessons.  Since I considered belly dance a hobby, I didn''t realize that I would feel as passionate about the art as I do now.  While I don't consider myself a professional yet, I think it's something I'm considering more and more with every new experience.

I've had the pleasure to interact and learn from fabulous dancers, and I look forward to continuing my dance and music education. Through the different teachers, I've been exposed to opportunities that I've never thought I would be a part of.

Well...let me backtrack for a second.

I've done some performing for most of my life - from piano recitals to orchestra and band concerts in high school.  Perhaps because of my being trained classically, I've always been freaked out by improvisation.  Even in jazz band, I was so unsure of my abilities that I didn't think that I could possibly pull off something as musically awesome as some of the old songs I love.

When I was in undergrad, I participated (performed and directed pieces) in the Queer Fashion Show.  I loved that whole experience!  Working with large groups of people and putting together an entertaining peice...oh, then the performance!  I loved it.  But I never performed on my own.  I felt that the people who I performed with were like my backbone, giving me strength to go on through my anxiety.

When I began to belly dance, I anticipated a lot more troupe performances.  When recitals would come around, I would get extremely nervous.  I had to psych myself up, just saying to myself that I've done this before, there's nothing to worry about.  

Four recitals later (in 2008), I gathered enough courage to perform at a casual talent show in Vermont.  It was the first time I had sought out dancing alone for a group.  I was so nervous!  I couldn't even tell you about the massive amounts of butterflies in my stomach and the bullets I was sweating afterwards.  But throughout the weekend, I received so many complements.  People I didn't even know were watching came up to me in the days following my performance, complementing me and asking me about my dance background.  It was an exciting feeling.

(Celebration of Expression, Photo taken by Cat O.)

Later that year, my fellow social workers and friends organized an event that created a safe space for women to express themselves.  One friend read erotic poetry, another friend shared her baking wisdom, and I danced.  It was my first time performing a full routine (though broken into sections) for a live audience.
 
2008 seemed to be the year I finally had enough "belly dance balls."  Prior to the last two shows I wrote about, I was given the chance to dance with the Jewels of Jamal at the Athenian Corner in Lowell, MA.  This time was different.  This time, I danced to live music.  Amira Jamal had been preparing us for this experience through all her classes, encouraging us to dance to songs we weren't familiar with.


 (Athenian Corner, Photo by Albert Ma)


All of her lessons were flooding into my head at that moment.  Don't forget to smile, make sure your hands are "alive," move around the floor.  I'm surprised I didn't fall over from all the thoughts in my head.  In the end, I survived.  I knew that dancing to live music was another goal to add to my list of accomplishments.

Book and Win!

Book a Party! Win a $100 Gift Basket! Greetings! This is the best time of year to book an Athena's party. Everyone will begin shopping for the holidays and that will mean more Hostess credits for you! Anyone that books a party with me IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS is entered into a drawing for a $100.00 gift basket full of fabulous Athena's products! If you would like to book your party now to get the best date for you, just pick an open date listed below and we can book it. October 4th               November 7th  October 18th             November 13th October 23rd             November 20th                                         November 21st If you don't see a date you'd like, ask me anyway!   I will make it work to make your party happen! I look forward to connecting with you soon, having fun with you and your friends at your Athena's party!  Good luck on winning the prize drawing!! With Enthusiasm, Your Athena's Goddess Cecilia

Goddess Cecilia 18+ Only! Follow Me: @GoddessCecilia Call Me: (213) 220-1986