Euphemisms

My boyfriend has taken to telling people that I sell "marital aids."

For some reason, that euphemism makes me cringe.

At first, he used it to explain my Goddess job to his family.  Now he just does it to mess with me.

For one thing, I feel like it just sounds gross for some reason.  Maybe it's the fact that it's a euphemism makes me feel that I'm being sneaky.  Then, there's the implications.

Let's break it down, shall we?

Calling them "marital aids" implies that ONLY heterosexual married couple can purchase and use them.  What a way to pigeonhole the product!!!  You can't even just be committed...you have to be in a legal union.

When I Googled "marital aids," the first site listed implicitly says "If you are 18 years of age or older AND married, please enter. Browse the many selections for both you and your marriage covenant lover."

I almost wasn't sure if they were going to ask for a marriage certificate.  The website focuses on the fact that romance is only allowed if Christ is part of the marriage, and they even offer a complete package of goodies that includes "Intimate Bible Studies."  Oh, my!
 
Interestingly, this just doesn't seem the case with me.  I don't often do co-ed parties, and usually the co-ed parties aren't just for couples.

For the most part, people assume that I'm out to replace a partner.  I often explain that I'm not out to replace anybody, but that we're enhancing the situation.  How will you know how to please your partner if your partner doesn't even know how to please themselves?

So, I'm done ranting now.  I've also convinced my boyfriend to us "adult toy" instead.