"Once you go Asian...."

I'd love to see how everyone would end the title phrase. Post in the blog comments!

I'm about to take this us on a more serious note here. So be forewarned.

As an Asian/Pacific Islander female, I'm quite conscious of - or at least I'm always trying to figure out - where I stand in the whole scheme of the dating world. I feel like there are still those who are not too culturally competent walking around and calling me "Oriental" (Do I look like a rug, yo?), and assuming that because of my ethnicity I will be docile (ha!) and submissive (..depends on the position, doesn't it?).

When I delved into the world of online dating (geez...3 years ago!), I made it quite clear: NO ASIAN FETISHES!

I'll admit because of the stereotypes placed on an entire continent, I get suspicious of those who actively seek out a specific ethnicity to date.

Now, obviously, "Are they contacting me because I'm Asian?" isn't the first thing that comes to mind. Really, it's "Is he cute? What's this guy like, what's he into?" But when you start learning that they've dated other Asian women and they have an interest in Asian culture, I don't think it's unfair to question their motives. I'm not saying, "Kick this guy to the curb!" I'm saying, "You better get to know this guy a little more before you decide to let him in."

Am I seeming unfair? Too bad. A girl can't be too safe these days.

"But what if a guy's just generally attracted to a specific type of person?" Then you've taken the time to find that out, now didn't you?

I'm not saying that all guys who are attracted to Asian/Pacific Islanders have a fetish (generally meaning that one thing is fixated upon and is the only thing to sexually excite a person). I'm just saying that there's a lot of history there, and you don't have to be paranoid about it...but be educated about the power dynamics that might pop up.

Historically, the Asian/Oriental/Eastern continent was seen as such a stretch from the European/Western/Christian point of view, that it and its people were labeled "exotic" and something to conquer. Richard Evans Lee from Amorous Propensities posted a review from Wall Street Journal about this bit in history. I definitely plan on picking up this book - both for the historical perspective and the apparently "titillating" stories.

Link: Wall Street Journal's review of Richard Bernstein's "The East, The West, and Sex: A History of Erotic Encounters."

*****
Now, for the other side. I'll be the first to admit that I generally am not attracted to men in my ethnic categorical box. It's the unfortunate problem that many Asian men have, but it's pretty awesome when you see Asian men dating outside of their race/ethnicity (generally not as common as other combinations).

So, while power dynamics have played a role in the history of interracial dating, it seems that we have moved forward in one way or another - choices can be made. Interestingly, this Slate article notes that the reason the European/Caucasian Male + Asian Female combination is so widely seen is mainly due to the neutrality of the Asian Female to the European/Caucasian Male - not really because of any of the male's preferences.
Slate Article: An economist solves the mysteries of dating.

Okay...so let's not be serious anymore. Enjoy this awesome and quite popular youtube video about dating in the Asian world.